Building Your Capacity for Match Support: Chapter 4
PROVIDING ADVANCED TRAINING AND SUPPORT FOR MATCHES

Introduction: Orientation and early match training provide a solid foundation for mentors, mentees, and mentees’ parents/guardians to understand their role. As the mentoring relationship develops, it is important for program staff members to monitor needs and offer advanced training and resources.
Key terms and concepts we’ll explore in this chapter:
- Match support challenges
- Network-engaged mentoring
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Monitoring for Potential Match Challenges
Like all relationships, matches may encounter challenges from time to time. If you learn about a potential challenge from a mentor or mentee, take some time to dig deeper and get both perspectives.Listen objectively to the challenge presented by the mentor or mentee. It is important for each individual in the relationship to be heard and validated.
Ask clarifying questions to learn how the mentor and mentee are feeling. Give each person a chance to explain or clarify their feelings and actions before making assumptions about the situation.
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Addressing Common Match Challenges Consider how you could use match support to avoid or address each of the following challenges.
Common challenge Possible approach The mentee does not feel like they connect on a personal level with their mentor. Connect with the mentee (by phone, video call, or an in-person meeting) and give them a chance to share why they are feeling this way. - Before the meeting, program coordinators should check over the mentee and mentor application to refresh their mind with the details of the match. Specifically, identify some of the reasons that led to this pair being matched.
- When meeting with the mentee, give them a chance to verbalize their feelings with facts.
- Sometimes, mentees in a program may begin comparing mentoring experiences with one another. If some mentors are meeting more frequently with their mentee than other match relationships, it is common that mentees may report the “connection challenge” because of the comparison to the other relationships.
- After listening to the mentee, help them discover the silver lining in the match. Sometimes this may mean program coordinators need to revisit program expectations with the mentee and how long the requirements of the relationship are before programs think about reassigning the mentor and mentee.
- It will also be important to check in with the mentor to understand their perspective on the relationship and to offer additional resources to help with the connection.
The mentee routinely cancels plans at the last minute. Connect with the mentee (by phone, video call, or an in-person meeting) and give them a chance to share why they keep canceling plans. When asking clarifying questions, consider focusing on the obstacle (e.g., “Are there any obstacles that are preventing you from meeting with your mentor”?) rather than making an accusation (e.g., “Why didn’t you show up for your mentoring meetings?”). The mentor feels as if the mentee is disengaged or is not opening up. Before the meeting, review the mentee’s file. Connect with the mentor (by phone, video call, or an in-person meeting) and give the mentor a chance to share some concrete examples of the mentee’s behavior. - Review the mentee’s file, there may be information that the mentor might need to know about the mentee that hasn’t been shared with the mentor.
- Reach out to see how many times the mentor and mentee have met. It takes time for trust and relationships to develop. Sometimes the mentor is very eager to build the connection and the young person just needs a little time.
- Ask the mentor if they are willing to possibly participate in a group activity with another mentee/mentor pair in the program. The group approach may get the mentee to start opening up within the group. Program staff also could put the mentor in touch with other mentors in the cohort to connect in a small group setting.
- Reach out to the mentee to get their take on the relationship. Sometimes the mentee might not see this as a challenge at all.
The mentee is becoming overly dependent on the mentor. Revisit program expectations and boundaries with the mentee, including: - Frequency of communication (how often, what time of day is preferred)
- Preferred methods of communication (text, phone, email)
- Frequency of meetings
- Goals for the mentoring relationship
Additional Resources:
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Determining Advanced Training Needs for Mentors
Elements of Effective Practice for Mentoring recommends that programs offer “one or more opportunities per year for post-match mentor training” (B.5.11). As you gather feedback from mentors and mentees, look for common support needs that could be addressed through advanced training.Depending on the program, advanced training workshops for mentors might include:
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Group Training for Mentors and Mentees In some situations, it may also be useful for mentors and mentees to attend training together as part of their relationship-building process. Group training topics might include:
- Cultural responsiveness
- Goal setting
- Informational interviewing
- Resume review
- Preparing for the LSAT, GRE, or other postsecondary test
- Financial planning
- Network-engaged mentoring (i.e., how to cultivate mentorship relationships beyond a mentee’s first mentor)
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Workshops or Roundtables Hosted by Mentors and Mentees
Mentors and mentees may have unique skills and credentials that they might be willing to share with a group. Mentor or mentee workshops can be hosted by a specific match or based on a theme that allows all matches to contribute. -
Additional Resources For mentor training:
- Ongoing Training for Mentors: Twelve Interactive Sessions for U.S. Department of Education Mentoring Programs
- T.E.A.M. Teach, Empower, Affirm, Mentor: A Risk Reduction Mentoring Curriculum
- Strategies for Creating Ongoing Mentor Training (webinar recording)
For program staff member training and technical assistance:
- MENTOR and its Affiliates offer monthly training opportunities for program staff members. Consider attending some of these events and incorporating them into monthly match-support activities.
- Do you have a training you would like to further develop in partnership with MENTOR? Learn more about MENTOR’s free Training and technical support.


